I Am a Giant Deep Sea Isopod

and other things to say to heterosexual men

You could call me deep.
I live in a pretty high pressure environment.
I’m generally satisfied with scraps and leavings,
in case you were worried about overcommitting.
I’m pretty self-sufficient,
surprisingly mobile,
and willing to travel across predatory wastelands
for a little bit of intermittent meat.
But yes, I am complex—more than meets the eye.
You never know when you will turn a word over
and find fourteen legs underneath.